I think it would be interesting

to be grammeticaly uncorrect.

to sound stupid,

to bend whatever rules words may have upon you.

Words.

They always leave you speechless.

Even when your choices are just

"Yes" or "No".

Mood :: gloomy

3 comments

This dream is dying.  It is afflicted.

I was a teenager then, fresh from a comfortable but nonetheless robotic, provincial existence, when I finally decided that it would be good for my soul to live in the big city. I thought, that if I had quenched my curiosities – lingering questions I knew would have never been answered had I stayed where I was – my life would have taken a drastic change for the better.

I always thought that the big city was an antidote to this other serious affliction I’ve always had: melancholy. Yes, even back then, I was that stupid; a sucker for affection. And so when I finally ventured off, I started to dream.

When I dream, I believe; and I believed I was special.

I believed that I was meant for great things, to become someone people could be proud of. I believed I was meant to be important, I was meant to be awesome. I believed I could change the world.

I believed. And my belief evolved into yearning, primarily because ever since I could remember, I’ve always wanted to become special – something I am continually deprived of. I genuinely thought that if I stayed the good person that I was, played my role right, and pursued my elusive dream, everything would play out fine.

But as big cities always are, the probability of getting lost along the way is as good as betting tails when you toss a coin: 50/50.

Heads. I got lost.

And that elusive dream I so passionately pursued started to die, with it, my pure thoughts and intentions.

I then realized, that my illusions of grandeur were nothing more than what they really were: illusions, figments of my twisted imagination.

(to be continued)

Music :: Heartbreaker || G-Dragon
Book :: Drastic || Maud Casey
Mood :: cathartic

make a comment

The mudshake beckons.

And again, I see your face,

Lined all over my synapses;

Along with your bloodied name,

Pumped through my vessels.

I reek of you.

I like it.

And then it becomes clear,

That sooner or later,

When all has been said and done,

This will all become yours now,

To make?

To break?

And so I wait.

For Us.

For things to take its course;

Wishes granted or denied.

Love found or love lost.

For things to be crystal clear.

Clear as mud,

Because the mudshake still beckons.

Music :: Say You'll Be There || Spice Girls
Show :: Avatar
Mood :: anxious

4 comments

AVATAR FTMFW.

One of the best things to have ever happened this 2009. I must say.

I'll come up with a review... hopefully.

Show :: JUST WATCHED AVATAR. OMG>>>>>>
Mood :: bouncy

make a comment

i am inclined to believe,

that my life is a conundrum:

a riddle, hidden between the lines.

so clandestine, i'd surprise myself

at the very end of things.

and these invisible walls

i've started to put up,

upon this realization, i understood,

are all meant to fall,

crumble, and become remnants

of a broken past.

and this stoic facade,

i've been meaning to personify,

is slowly melding with me,

purging this long-standing frustration,

i've always had with you,

i've always had with myself.

So now,

I wait.

And you'll see.

That the world isn't yours to sit on.

Music :: Bad Romance || Lady GaGa
Mood :: quixotic

2 comments